Ive offically begun to crack......

Im about ready for my meltdown. Ive been so good this whole pregnancy. I really havnt been moody, or hormonal or anything. Steve will even attest to that. That is, until now. In a few short hours it will be December. DECEMBER! How did that sneak up on me so fast! That means, Im due NEXT MONTH. Which, in my world means baby could come at anytime. Im not worried about bringing the baby home, Im worried that Im not going to have everything done in time. Im trying so hard to be prepared this time. Is my Christmas shopping going to get done? How can it when I have zero energy to do it, and Steve has zero time. Do I have everything I need for the baby? What am I going to need at the hospital and what am I going to forget? Overnight bags need to be packed for all of us. Whos going to take out the dogs and feed the zoo? How long should I stay at work? All these things are now running through my mind. Although he would never admit it, Im starting to become the bitchy wife who has a honey do list. Car Seats and strollers need to be assembled and put in my car and swing needs to be put together. Shelves in the babys room need to be hung. Poor Steve, I dont know how he puts up with me! Like every mother, I just want a good night sleep, everything done, the house clean and for me to just be home waiting to go into labor, maybe sometime in the late morning after my (decaf) coffee and shower. Ha, I crack myself up- thats never going to happen! Especially the sleep part. Who can sleep when your up every damn hour (or two if Im lucky) to pee! Im playing the "what if" game a lot. And I hate that game! What if I my water breaks at work? What if go into labor and Im by myself, should I drive myself to Steve who will be closer to the hospital? What if Zacharys at school? Im trying to come up with a solution to all these different scenarios and its driving me mad! AGGGGGHHHHHH!

Go put on something pretty!

Wow. What a fabulous day I had Sunday. It started off unusual- Steve and I home at the same time with no alarms being set and no one rushing off to work. Priceless. We both got to sleep in. So we all get up and after a while I start to get hungry and Im about to cook breakfast for myself and "Little Levine" when Zachary tells me to go take a shower and "put on something pretty". So I say "Why would I do that? Im hungry!". He tells me he will make me breakfast and tells me its the day of my baby shower! He repeats so I not forget, "Now go put on something pretty!" Im so glad he was on the ball with that one, considering at my first baby shower I was wearing a Marlboro sweatshirt and Im not even sure I had showed that day! So I take my shower, and I put on something pretty and Zachary has made me scrambled eggs, sausage and a clementine. The clementine pieces were arranged in a decorative circle around my eggs and sausage. So creative that Zachary! Now he says he wants to be a chef! Anyway, without a doubt, the best darn eggs Ive ever had. Meanwhile, in true "Mom" form, Steve is taking a picture of my breakfast. He must have been channeling her. Anyone remember when she took a picture of me eating breakfast the morning I voted in my first election? Ha!
The day was really nice. A calm 60 degrees, not a speck or rain, snow, or wind. Steve and Zachary drive me to my baby shower at Barbara's house. I cant even believe the amount of cars. As Im walking up, Im saying things like "look, Patti's here- see thats her car with no hubcaps!" and "Susan keeps driving by the house Steve- go stand in the middle of the road so she sees you!"
I was so excited so see everyone. It was a perfect weekend to have the shower, when so many could make it because they were home for Thanksgiving. It was good to see everyone especially so many that I dont get to see very often. I even got to meet little Noah. (So So Sorry I mistook Missy for Mary!) There were people that couldnt make it, Cousin Sharon and Aunt Rose who are on a cruise and Sue, Heather and Nana in Florida. It warms my heart to know that Sue considered coming up here. Its the thought that counts!
The amount of gifts were unbelievable. I was unwrapping for well over an hour. We got so many nice things. Even though baby makes his presence known all the time- especially at night when mom cant seem to get comfortable, now that we have all this baby stuff its starting to feel like were really having a baby! Although at times Steve still cant believe it and wants me to take another pregnancy test - "just to be sure".
Some highlights from the shower..Uncle Bills cake -the duck with the pink afro and belt. Loved it. Now thats a story that we will be telling for a long time. Judy's creativity- I dont know how she does it! Ashlee telling me she got me a present but "its not like fancy or anything like the other presents" ( It was a gift card and it was FABULOUS!). And the Bomber jacket from Alicea and the cowboy boots from Crystal are 2 of the darn cutest things I think Ive ever seen!
Now, I dont often get sappy with you people but I will take a minute to say this. Huge thanks to Suzie, Barb and Mandy who did such a fabulous job planning this. I really had a great time and everything was just perfect. You guys really put a lot of time and love into it and it showed. I appreaciate all you did and all you continue to do. I love you guys! And thanks to everyone else who had a hand in helping out in one way or another -Alicea, Judy, Rosemary and Erin. And to those who came to the shower to celebrate with us and support our family. It meant so much to me that you came. Steve and I are so fortunate to have such a wonderful family and friends. The only thing missing was our moms and my 2 special aunts. But only from the shower, not from our hearts. Ok. Enough sap, Im highly hormonal as it is.
The fun doesn't stop there. We get home- cant believe we only had to make one trip with all our goodies, but it filled up the entire truck, backseat, bed and all. It was all in the kitchen and it took me till dinnertime just to show my guys everything we got for the baby. I still had one more prize waiting for me. A new rocking chair and ottoman from my wonderful father in law(with the a little help from above). What a nice surprise! I cant wait till baby comes and we can snuggle together in it! Zachary (with Kaila's help) has already put together our new baby bouncer from Liz and he cant wait to put more things together. Good thing Ive got him , cuz Im just good at putting on the stickers!
Now Im trying to sort through and find a place for everything. We got so many clothes for baby that Im now on my 3rd load of laundry (just baby clothes) in our over sized washing machine and you know how small baby clothes are! At least this time, they will be washed before I go into labor! Now all we need is the baby!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Turkey Day everyone! This year with the wind and the rain reminds me of the year that Mom, Suzie and I went to NY to see the Macy's parade. I want to say it was 1992, but I could be wrong. Mom was festive as usual and her so so excited self only made Suzie and I more miserable to be standing in the rain. I wish I had appreaciated her back then. We attempted to see the Statue of Liberty but there was too much fog, the ferry was closed. Still to this day I have never seen her. Every time I'm on a plane, I'm on the wrong side and I miss it, even from overhead!
Steve and I were watching the news this morning, and I was a little disturbed to see the new sport of "Turkey Bowling". Apparently a big enough event that Miss Ohio was present. Now, I'm by no means a vegetarian, but I think there's something off color about a poor turkey dying only to be used as a bowling ball. It was in a regular package, but I cant imagine they are really going to then cook it up and eat it after its been sliding across some gross floor for hours. Are they? I love thanksgiving and I love turkey but I just don't want to think about the actual animal before I'm eating it. That goes for any meat I eat. But every year just before Thanksgiving, the news crews go to a turkey farm and do a story from their "death row". Or there's others who make it a point to say how many turkeys were killed this year. I understand the food chain, but I just find that so disturbing!
Anyway, lets get back to the real meaning of Thanksgiving, which is being thankful for what we have.

Dr visit

Just got back from the Dr. Little Levine has a good strong heart beat! Right now I will be 32 weeks on Thursday. But Im still measuring about a week ahead of schedule. Not enough for them to change my due date, but thats been consistent of all my ultrasounds since the first one at 7 weeks. Im kinda glad there not changing the due date. I like being due on Papa Bucks birthday, even though the chances of him being born on that particular day are probably slim. I remember being pregnant with Zachary and having a conversation with Papa about having the baby on his birthday. Anyway, I dont think I will make it that far anyway. My guess is that I will be early (again). I think I will go a few weeks early, but I will at least make it to January. Theres other cool dates it could fall on. Nana August birthday, Uncle Johns birthday. New Years day might be cool. Having a Christmas and a New Years baby- that might be a record! Im hoping he doesnt come on the 4th, but I wont be picky. As long as he is healthy!

Michael Jackson?

Well, so much for any more meaningful dreams. Last night I dreampt I was at Michael Jacksons wedding! Have no idea who he was marrying, or if the bride was even of legal age or if it was really a bride and not 2 grooms, but it was a very small intimate ceramony of only like 20 people. So glad he thought of me! Hope I didnt spend too much on a present!

Dreams part 2

I got to thinking about the dream thing. Jen brought up a good point, maybe its the pregnancy thats leaving me dreaming so vividly. Heres my Aunt Lois dream. It was from 8/2/06. I immediatly wrote it down so I wouldnt forget..I knew it was important.Here goes: ...Zachary and I are fighting with something. Im not sure what but I think its a dog that were trying to get away from. So we go to the local sports supply store and were buying boxing gloves to fend off whatever it is. Theres a woman in the store who looks a lot like mom, clearly not her but could be a relative, and shes talking about the King family (My great grandmothers family. Since I didnt know who she was, I didnt say anything, So I get my boxing gloves and stick my hand inside and theres a note inside. - almost like a reciept thats dated 1970 and on the back its handwritten. Not sure exactly what it says but its talking about Harold August (my grandfather) and Grandpa King (my great grandfather whom Ive never met). So I go outside the store, (Z still in) cuz I want to call Steve and tell him about it. Instead I somehow get AUnt Lois' answering machine (Not that she ever had one) and I was thinking that I must still had her on my speed dial and how sad, that the machine is still there, but that is was good to hear her voice. Next thing I know, Im talking to her! Im not sure if she picked up the phone or called my cell phone. Anyway, it was all present time. I knew she was dead. I was fully aware that this is some mystery to be talking to a person from heaven on my cell phone, but instead of questioning it, I just talked to her. So I say "Aunt Lois, the weirdest thing just happened!" And I tell her all about the reciept in the boxing glove. She tells me it was left for me to find 30 years after I was born. Then I told her about the woman who looked like mom that was talking about the King family. And she said "Who is she?" I said I didnt know but I was going to find out. So the woman is now sitting outside the store on a park bench and I go sit next to her, still on the phone with Aunt Lois. So I say to the woman "Hi, Im Ellen Buck's daughter" expecting she would recognize the name but she didnt. I tell her I heard her talking about the King family andI mention "Ellen August" and she vaguley remembers her, but seems to know the older generation like Nana and Grandma King. Not personally, because the woman is about only in her 40's or 50's. So Im really unclear as to who she is, but I know she is related somehow. So I go around the back of the building to a parking lot to get some privacy and to her Aunt Lois better. And I tell her how much I miss her and Im crying as Im talking to her ans she says " O know, I miss you too" and I asked about mom and she says she is good. I tell her about the baby and she said "Oh?" like she used to say with a question in her voice. Then she said "you must be so excited!" and I say yes that Steve is over the moon and I told her all about how Z came home from school with a list of baby names the day after we told him. Then it seemed that the conversation was wrapping up so I tell her not to stop sending me signsso that I know shes around. And she says she wouldnt, so I need to watch for them. And that was it, the last thing she said. The dog barked and I woke up in tears. I woke up and said to Steve "I just had a conversation with Aunt Lois". It was so real, so vivid, but what gets me is that I actually HEARD her voice as if she were really on the phone. I heard her all through my dream! And it was very detailed. Things I was aware of in this dream that I normally dont notice...The noise of the outside street making me move to q quieter place, Zacharys whereabouts when Im trying to concentrate on my phone call. I remember looking at the womans hair and thingking it was the same color, style and texture of moms. Little details like that. But its her voice that gets me the most. I cant explain it other than it was comforting to hear her and it was nice to be able to tell her about the baby but at the same time I missed her so much!

Dreams

I think I hugged Auntie Bet last night. Once in a great while I have a dream so real that I swear Im actually in between worlds. Sometimes is the whole dream and other times its just one part of the dream. I seem to dream a lot, but not of this nature. Anyway, in my dream last night it didnt start off like it was present day. It seemed as though I was back in high school or in that era somewhere. I was dreaming that I was helping Kelly move out of her parents house and theres all these things going on at the same time as Im helping Kelly move -her cat had 2 kittens that we were trying to find homes for, we are waiting for the appliances to be delivered to her new house and its delayed so were mad because we cant order her new carpet until the appliances come, because they have to match. So, its just an odd regular dream. We are in moms old honda, and we have to meet her out at the Clarks. Im mad at mom for some reason and arguing with her a bit in the driveway, almost like she had held up our moving process in some way or another. So I walk into the house, and theres Auntie Bet with her arms wide open smiling from ear to ear to see me, and she just hugs me, as she always did when I walked through the door. And half way through the hug, I realize something. Im not sure what- I realize maybe that shes really gone, or maybe that this is just a dream. Im not sure, but I did know that this isnt something Im going to get in every dream, so I just keep on hugging her for several minutes and I wont let her go.
While the rest of my dream was maybe just my subconcious scatter brain thoughts, that one part of my dream was so intensly real like we were really standing in the middle of her living room. I cant explain it. But I will tell you this...I normally have such trouble sleeping now and last night I slept like a baby for part of the night anyway. That hug left me so content. This morning I also realized that tomorrow is the 2nd anniversary of her death, something I hadnt thought of till I had to look it up. I miss you terribly Auntie Bet.

My kid the genius

Zachary made honor roll! First year in middle school, first time he has gotten letter grades and he makes honors! His lowest grade was a B- and there was only one of those. I got a bumper sticker, I got a bumper sticker! Steve and I always tell him that the teacher comments are just as important as the grades. Here are a few from this report card: "Motivated to learn", "Self Motivated and Responsible", "Positive attitude", "A pleaseure to have in class", "uses class time efficiently". Im soooooo proud of you Zachary! Your hard work has paid off! We knew you could do it!

Recorder

This past week, Zachary brought home a recorder from music class. I just dont get why schools put parents through this! The sound is like nails on a chalk board! Its not that he plays it bad, its just that the recorder doeesnt even make a pleasant sound! I remember my parents covering thier ears too, so its not just me. Someone please tell me what the purpose is. I mean have you ever heard of anyone growing up to play the recorder?

New Gal on the block

Ok so Im finally getting with the times and starting my own BLOG. Sometimes I feel like I have so many things to tell everyone and no enough time to do it. So heres my solution. Check back often for updates!