Philippe The Goofball

Zachary has been cracking me up lately. Today he told me he no longer goes by Zachary. I thought he was going to tell me to call him Zach like everyone else does. Nope, now its Philippe.
He is taking a 1 month class that is going to introduce French and Spanish so that next year he can choose which language he wants to take. My guess is that today they started with french. Just a hunch. The other day I actually had to yell at him and tell him we do not under any circumstances fill up a cup of snow, pour a coke over it and call it a slushee. I don't care if he were to stick his tongue out in the middle of a snow storm, but we are not eating cup fulls of dirty snow. He is arguing with me that its clean because its white and he isnt eating the brown or yellow snow (Whew!) So the next time it rains (I forgot today) I'm going to stick a cup out in the rain and show him how dirty it really is.
It seems he may have a girlfriend, although he wont fess up. Her name is Hanna, rhymes with Donna, not Hannah as in banana.
Sounds like an uppity name to me. Oh, and her last name is Cheney, as in Dick. Oh lord, this isn't looking good. So I ask him what has to happen to be considered a couple. Do you have to go out on a date or is it just a school thing. He says you have to ask her out, then you get to walk down the hall together. Ok, check. Walk down the hall. I can deal with that, even if she is a republican. I'm so not ready for my baby to start thinking about girls! If he had told me there was smooching involved I just might have passed out. I started to bust his you-know-whats and I asked him if he wanted me to drive them to the movies. :0) He was not laughing. MMOOOMMMMM STOP IT! I kept asking him if she was his girlfriend and he refused to answer. He told me he would answer my question only if I would let him eat my Hershey with almonds bar I had just bought. Um, nobody takes my chocolate. I don't want to know that bad! He is getting very good at negotiating. "Mom, I'll trade you an hour of babysitting, if I can stay up later". Sure! Not that I go anywhere but if he keeps an eye on Ryan (who is sleeping most of the time) than I can do things like take a shower, or laundry ect. I told him pretty much anything he wants will work with babysitting! I did turn down one offer - For him to watch Ryan anytime I want for the next month, if he doesn't have to pay me back the $25.00 he owes me. I said "anytime I want? What if your playing basketball with your friends and I call you in?" He says "Well, you'd have to pick another time" and I said "What if he has a poop when your watching him?" And he reiterates that he doesn't do diapers. No deal.